Forward

What's written here is not for everyone's eyes. I wouldn't say one needs to be knowledgeable in the subject of consciousness, eternity and reality, but it would be recommended you have an interest and desire to read and learn about such things. These are just notes, more thoughts and impressions of my journey into trying to understanding the incomprehensible. I do realise the task of explaining such subject matter is near impossible, but then, this isn't being written for you, but rather for myself and my own records in order to help with my own understanding. If you happen to be the few that will ever come across these writings, then perhaps you will begin to realise that you were actually meant to be here. You, reading these notes was not coincidence but rather you are trying to find an understanding about who you are and what it means to be you, which led you here. Read away, and take notes if anything resonates with you.

When reading, you may find yourself thinking deeper about a particular subject. I encourage you to re-read those parts and then meditate on your own thoughts to gain a deeper understanding in what it means to you, to 'Exist'.

I have tried to cut down these scribes into small, bite sized portions so anyone who may read, wont be overwhelmed with too many questions that go unanswered. I have also set these up so that you can read from top to bottom, the dates go backwards but the readings go forwards.

Good luck in your journey.

What is Time?

One of the biggest question I find difficult to comprehend is "What is Time?"

What a question that is. Time; the concept of measurement of events. We live in our own small world and have the most basic grasp of what 'time' really is. I mean, we understand that we have 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours a day and 365 Days to a year (Or near enough). We are taught these things from childhood and while we can grasp this basic concept of 'time', what many don't even consider is "What is time, and how does time work"?

I can only be upfront here and say I honestly can not comprehend this concept.  It is far too difficult to wrap my head around the full nature of time and where we are heading. From my limited understanding, We are able to track time, which to us, means it exists. There is a past, a present and a future of which we can only perceive one of. The only thing is, time is constantly changing and therefor what we perceive now, is not the same as what we perceive now. In case you didn't pick up on what I said, every micro perception of time can never be lived again, so what you are reading right now is different to what you were reading a few words earlier. Time moved forward and you moved forward with it, weather you wanted to or not.

Our perception of time is best understood through our own experience of it.  I know there was a past because I was there, I can remember it.  I know there is a present because I'm here, right now, which constantly becomes the past. And, from past experience, knowing that the present becomes the past, yet more present 'presents' itself, there must be a future. If there was no future, it would mean the present would cease to exist. And if the Present ceased to exist, there would be no more past - in this I mean, we need a future in order to remember the past. Every time we think of a memory, it takes us from present to future to recall the past experiences.

What is the future? In a basic sense, it is a time period that has not yet come to pass. For instance, 1 week away.  As we head towards this time in the future, we experience the constant flux of the present.  It's the constant recording of the future becoming the present, becoming the past. All within an instant. There are X amount of instances that happen before we finally arrive at the desired time (X being an unrecordable number). Yet time doesn't stop when we arrive, it continues forward and becomes the past.

Our perception of time allows us to understand that if I count to 30 seconds, then 30 seconds has gone by, it's become the past. So for us to arrive 1 week in the future, we would need to perceive 604,800 seconds (I will get more into this later). But what is a single second?

A single second is, of course a perceived amount of time, very short, but how short? And, the question is, does everyone perceive a second exactly the same. Just like a Video Camera with different frame rates, one records at 24 frames per second, another at 29 frames per second. Do people perceive time exactly the same, or can there be a difference in perception yet because life seems normal and we each have our own basic understanding of time, it seems like everyone experiences the same?

Many people have experienced certain things in life where something significant happened (A car accident, a loss of a loved one while in their presence, Extreme stress situation, etc). And during these times many people have claimed to perceived time differently; as if it had slowed down. They can see what is happening but the perception is as if time has changed speed. And often, when this happens, the person can recall the instance in far greater detail.

While the perception of time 'seems' to have slowed down for this person, every body else still experienced the same amount of time passing by. I personally have no explanation for such experiences happening but can only liken it to a video camera that was recording in 24 frames per second, suddenly changed to record in 240 frames per second. Our awareness now has more information recorded to pull from hence being able to recall in much greater details. It truly would be interesting if we were able to change this perception of time and turn on slow motion at will, something of which I will get into at a later point.

Just like the slow down of time, someone who gets non-recoverable amnesia has a thing or two to say about time. One minute they are 16 years old, the next minute they are waking up in hospital being told they were in a car accident and sustained brain damage, only to discover they are 56 years old, loosing 40 years of perceived time.To them, the difference from being 16 to 56 is a single instance.

When we go to sleep, often our head hits the pillow and the next minute the alarm is going off to wake us the next morning. The information being stored for recall purposes effects what our perception of time is like. That's why some days seem to take forever, and other days fly by.  That's why as a child it feels like years have passed before our next birthday or Christmas, yet as an adult it feels as short as a couple of months.

So going back to what a single second is, can we say that while it may be universal (so to speak), a single second of time can be perceived differently through different experiences?  If we can accept that time can vary from each individuals perception, what then is controlling time and making it move forward, not backwards, or stopping it entirely?

Space & Time

We know, from our surroundings and experiences, we live in 4 Dimensions (or 3 + 1). Three Dimensions Represent our Spacial orientation; X, Y & Z. while 1 represents time ∞ (which is often referred to as the fourth Dimension) and only moves in 1 fixed direction which is forward.

The 3 spacial dimensions are made up of + and - distances from a point in a non-relative location. In simplest terms these are; Forward and Backwards (X), Left and Right - Or Side to Side (Y), and Up and Down (Z). For an object to get from point A to point B it must always account for all 4 dimensions. It may have only moved forward (X), but in order to have moved forward (X), it must also be measured along with the remaining 2 Spacial orientations (Y, Z), and time (∞).

The reason I bring up Spacial Orientation is because it is one of the easiest explanations on how we account for the measurement of time. We understand the basic process of time, (Counting 30 seconds), but how are we able to keep track of that 30 seconds and know that it's been a 30 second duration and not 15 seconds moving forward and 15 seconds moving backwards?

This is where we introduce our current understanding of measuring time. We understand there is a certain amount of time that is Light, referred to as Daylight, and a certain amount of time that is Dark, which is referred to as Night. This amount of time for either of these can change depending on a number of factors including (but not limited to), which Hemisphere you are in, the distance from the north or south pole, the period of rotation of the earth (Seasons), your personal perception (Sleep) and more.

We are also aware that it takes X amount of time for an abject to get from point A to point B (X Being based on Distance/Speed in this case). In simplest terms, if we were to drop a Tennis Ball from the top of a 10 story building, it would take X amount of time to hit the ground.  If, under the exact same conditions (Wind, air pressure, humidity etc). we dropped the exact same ball, it should hit the ground in the exact same amount of time in which the original drop occurred. Of course, change a single condition when dropping the ball and you will find a different result, however, that is introducing the concept of entropy, something we will go through later.

In order to measure time as effectively as we can, we take an object (Obj) and it's Spacial Orientation (X,Y, Z) and record a specified distance in movement as it travels forward in time (∞) . We then take that distance, and under the exact same condition, record the object (Obj) moving the exact same amount of time to get the same results. We therefor understand that the distance this object travels take a certain amount of perceived time to achieve the same results. If it was therefor doubled in distance, the time should be multiplied by 2 and so on.

Throughout the Millennium's of recorded history, the study of time, through measuring distances between rotations of day and night, the rotations around the sun, the positioning of the stars, the rotations of seasons and rotation of life, it has resulted in our current day understanding of Days, Months, Years etc.

But, in all honestly, none of this amounts to what time truly is.

Take for example, a runner in a race. When the gun goes off the race begins and the stopwatch starts.  They run around the track until they pass the finish line as to which the stopwatch Freezes and the race ends.

In order for us to be able to account for time, where do we find the start?  Current theories hypothesize some form of start. I'm sure we've all heard of the Big Bang, or Creation by a being of some kind (referred to as god or gods). Both of these theories are equally perplexing as the next.  And there's many more Theories to explain the existence of the universe, but none of them will ever be able to satisfy our understanding when we truly delve into this subject.

With the Big Bang, the understanding that before all matter in the universe was created, everything was part of a Singularity, a tiny subatomic particle. Einstein referred to this as a primordial singularity. This singularity began to expand and form as the creation of the Universe we currently know, which is still expanding to this very day. It was a Big Bang of sorts which forced creation to become, and time to begin.

With Creation, The idea of an all powerful being who spoke the universe into existence with "Let there be light". And from that point forward the creation of our universe began.  From some perspectives, that also includes the constant development of the universe as the 'light' from the spoken word at creation, is still traversing the universe causing it to continually grow.

Unfortunately neither of these can answer the question, what existed before time?

The Land Before Time

I'm going to be upfront here. I don't have any answers for you, just more questions. True understanding of eternity is far too difficult to comprehend. Why? Possibly we haven't reached a level of clarity that only arrives once we move on, or perhaps we will never understand. The best we can do is accept that we exist in 'time' but that existence is far more unique and exceptional than we give credit for.

Let's take the formation of life, a single Cell, duplicates all of it's molecular substance and splits into two, the process of which we call Mitosis. These two cells then perform the same duplication and split into four, four into 8 and so on so forth. Ignoring Meiosis for now (the shuffling of DNA to allow for variation), As the cells continue to divide, so to does the development of life.  This continues as an embryo emerges, and the circle of life is revealed as we know it today.

Using this example for the creation of the universe, The Big Bang, or A word spoken, or whatever it is you want to believe which created our universe, 'something' happened to create the first particles, or 'Quarks' and 'Leptons', which quite possibly, duplicated and split, creating the beginning of time in a singular instance. A Quark is what current particle physics terms the 'matter which makes up neurons and protons'. While Leptons make up electrons.  Neurons and Protons make up the nucleus of a single atom, the center, with the electrons flying around, circling said nucleus. The atoms bond together with other atoms to make molecules and thus the formation of our surroundings.

So, from the first duplication of matter forward, those 'particles' created the first Atom(s), then created 2, then 4, then 8, then 16. With atoms colliding, binding together forming Molecules, Substance, Elements, and eventually life. Let's not get into quantum physics here as that will introduce further subatomic physics and confuse the hell out of everyone. This is something we can take up at a later time when addressing Dark Matter and Anti Matter.

But doesn't a theory such as this fly in the face of the Law of Conservation? Well Yes and No. If we are to believe that before the big bang, before time existed, there was nothing, and suddenly the entire universe existed and began expanding, then, it is not far fetched to hypothesize that the universes basic growth stems from duplication. Of course, this will all make much more sense the more we delve into the theory, but on the surface, when there is little to no explanation, it can make no sense what so ever.

As it stands, this isn't something we can perceive, this 'force' as I will refer to it, would happen at such speed far beyond perception. If we were to have the ability to watch the beginning of time, it would be nothing, and then 'Existence'. However, this existence is still growing, expanding, creating. And thus the same can be said for you. There is a reason why you exist. But there was also a reason why you didn't exist. As you were to become, Cells duplicated forming intricate paths following the blueprint we call DNA. And then, You! Beforehand you were nothing, and then, 'Existence'.

Based on the Law of Conservation, Atoms can not, and do not replicate. If they did, it would violate this Basic Law. But, just because the Atoms we are able to interact with now don't replicate and thus the observable Law comes into effect, doesn't mean they never did, or that the subatomic particles never did.

Just like Mitosis, Cells Duplicate and split, but eventually they no longer replicate.  It is important for our Cells to duplicate. It allows us to grow and our body to heal when injured. If they don't stop, then we can have complications which lead to the likes of cancerous growths and tumors. In the same manner, atoms, or the subatomic particles that make up atoms would also need to stop duplicating. If not, the build up of mass, the pressure of expansion and the inevitable compression would cause the entire universe to collapse in on itself.

This actually perfectly explains so many observable occurrences we witness in the far reaches of space.

The Great Expansion

Take A pool. If we were to fill it, the water at the start can be seen filling up so fast, spreading everywhere in every direction it can. But, as the water builds up, the filling, while still growing at the same speed, is perceived to be slower. You no longer see the huge and sudden spread of the water from a central location but rather witness the slow and eventual filling of the pool.

The same example can be used with a large balloon. As you begin to fill it, there is a sudden and exponential expanding of the balloon. As the balloon grows however, this growth appears to slow. But, all the while the rate of oxygen entering the balloon is constant.

The reason for this is actually quite simple. Mathematics is the best use of how to explain this but don't worry if you're no good at math, I will try to explain this in a way that anyone can understand.


One explanation (of I'm sure thousands) to the creation and continued expansion of the Universe can be perceived in a simple math equation.

2 = 1 + 1

That might actually confuse you, but it is the fundamental truth to the universe. Of course, as far as explanations go, that's not much help. For this, we must go a little deeper into the meaning. When using the above equation to explain existence which comes in the form of duplication, we have a particle (x) which Duplicates and splits itself (y). In this sense, we are referring to Leibniz's Law.

Leibniz's Law, in its basic sense is the indiscerniblity of something which is identical to another. In other words, everything that makes up particle x is the same in particle y, and everything in particle y is in particle x. There are no differences between the two. If there was, then it would not be part of Leibniz's Law. If we are to use this as a basis for creation, we would begin to see the exponential growth that takes place.

x = x + y
x + y = xy (or 1 + 1 = 2)
xy + xy = xyxy
xyxy + xyxy  =xyxyxyxy
xyxyxyxy + xyxyxyxy = xyxyxyxyxyxyxyxy
xyxyxyxyxyxyxyxy + xyxyxyxyxyxyxyxy = xyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxy
xyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxy + xyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxy = (xy)32

As you can imagine, in this form of an example, we would soon be overwhelmed with far too much information to comprehend very quickly, with the number surpassing a Googleplex of digits after a short process of duplication. We need something much simpler to understand.  And this is where the rate of expansion, time, comes into effect. Lets go back to the pool example for a moment.

Added Water (W) multiplied by amount of Time (∞) = Expansion (E).

If 1ltr of Water (W) takes one unit of time (∞) to be added to the pool, then it would take 1 instance of time (∞) to become Expansion (E).

W x ∞ = E

Therefore, in order for (E) to double, it would require 1 more instance of time (∞).

E2 = ∞2 x W

Now in order for (E) to once again double, it would need to also double the required instances of time (∞) from 1 to 2. By this i mean, if 1 Unit of (E) took 1 unit of (∞) then do double (E) for the very first time would only require 1 more unit of (∞) for a total of 2 (not an additional 2), any subsequent doubling from that point would therefore require to also double (∞).

Now I'm not talking about the speed of time, but the amount of time. If our pool requires 10,000Ltr of water and it took you 1 minute to measure out a 250ml glass of water and poor it into this pool, and then you repeated the exercise, it would therefor take 2 minutes to pour 500ml into the pool, 4 minutes to pour 1Ltr in, and a total of 8 minutes to pour 2 Ltrs into the pool. Once you reach 1024Ltrs (a little over 34 Hours), If someone was to come along and add an extra 250ml without you knowing, do you think you would even notice the difference or do you think it would, by this stage be so subtle that it would be near impossible to tell? From your perspective, that small amount of water added to the pool makes such a minuet change that it would go unnoticed.

Can the same be said for the expansion of the universe, or is the expansion far greater than we can comprehend?

The Universes Spacetime

If we are to follow this line of thinking, then the recording of time would have began at the exact moment of the first duplication. And every subsequent duplication insured that time continued to move forward at a constant, while the universes rate of duplication exploded exponentially.

As an example, if someone was to offer you either 1 million dollars, or 1 cent per second, duplicating the amount every second, for just 30 seconds, which would be the option to take? If you were to choose the 1 Million Dollars, then you would have lost out to the tune of 9.7 Million Dollars.

How is this, and how does it relate to the Universes Expansion? This can be explained over a series of examples and events, which i will get to as best I can.

We need to look at the density of the universe and of course relate this back to the beginning of time. If we take the duplication of Particle' in a literal sense and as such, Particles would continue to duplicate until the space in which the center most particle existed become over populated, the very next duplication would cause the existing particles to be separated, pushed away from one another in order to create room, however, the more this happens, the less space can be force and the more mass is built up, until such a time that it collapses in on itself.

If however, the duplicating particles could stop, turn off and no longer replicate, much like cells in the human body, then the density of the universe would not reach critical mass, and therefore not collapse. The universe would continue to expand through the duplication of the particles farthest away from the center, while an ever growing portion of particles would stop, from the inside out, so as to not implode.

This would at least then explain why current observations have determined that Atoms do not replicate. Not only that, but it would also explain why we perceive the universe to be expanding through what looks like the space between galaxies stretching, making them move further apart from each other. In this sense, the particles in a region of space are still duplicating, pushing all objects external to the duplication, away from each other.

As an example, there are 10 basketballs, all lined up touching in a perfectly straight line. All of the balls are identical except, the two outermost balls are both black, while the rest of them are orange. Now if I was to force a tennis ball in between two orange balls, this would force the balls to move in order to make space for the tennis ball to fit. This would then mean the Two black basketballs are now pushed further apart from each other. If there wasn't room for the balls to move, then the balls would be compressed, creating more mass in the same space, yet still causing the black basketballs to appear further apart.

Will those particles that are still duplicating from the internal embodiment of the universe, causing the galaxy to be pushed further apart, eventually switch off and thus no longer cause separation, or are they defective and will continue to duplicate and grow, like defective cells in the body which cause cancerous growths? Will mass continue to build up until the density of that area becomes so intense, that it collapses in on itself, and if so, to a point that it creates a black hole?

One thing is certain, matter came from somewhere.  In order to have a Star, circled by planets, surrounded by the vastness of space, some form of creation must have taken place. This matter was created and has formed what we know as our universe.What then if the universe stopped expanding. What if there was no more duplication and everything ceased? Would time still exist since the creation and movement of time began with the first duplication and every subsequent duplication? Would we no longer Exist?

Why do we Exist?

In all the Chaos that would ensue from all the particle duplication, colliding atoms, and the continued expansion of the Universe, where do we come into all of this?

To think that in the vastness of the universe, we find ourselves sitting here, pondering our existence in the grand scheme of everything.  Who Am I? What Am I? Why do I exist? What is My Purpose? How am I aware? We can have so many questions and the sad truth is, most of them will go unanswered.

I know I exist because I am aware. I have memory, and a perception of time in which this universe also exists. Am I, the creation of the Universe, or am I the creation of something else. Is there a reason and purpose for my life, or am I traversing along in a state of entropy? Has everything happened as a well oiled plan up until this point, and will continue to do so, or do I have free will? Is the universe a result of cause and effect, or is it in a state of constant disorder?

It's great to ask questions, but frustrating when there is no definitive answer to them. For my own personal curiosity, I have been constantly baffled by consciousness itself. What is it? And how does it work. In my basic understanding, we started out as a single cell, unconscious, non existent. And as we've previously spoken about, that cell duplicated and split into 2, which then split into 4, then 8 and so on and so forth. Eventually an Embryo emerges and the creation of life as we know it begins to form. But it's not just forming a simple being, but rather something entirely unique. Of course, there is a genetic blueprint which comes into play, and the DNA from the parents have a big part of what the child will look like, however, I'm not talking about the physical form being created, but rather the consciousness.

While this Embryo becomes a baby and is born into the world, at what point during the process of development does consciousness form? There is a point in time where this new life goes from being Chromosomes and Cells and becomes Alive. A singular being. Aware of itself. I can't say when that is but for my own personal grasp, I can only claim that self awareness became true, when I began to make my own conscious decisions, and those conscious decisions became my first memories that I can recall. Does that mean up until that point I was not self aware? That is something we can not truly answer. Perhaps what was perceived during early childhood was instinct and that laid the groundwork for our consciousness to form. Or perhaps we had a consciousness beyond our human perception and became that child as it was being formed.

In this creation of conscious life, how do we fit in with what we know as our current reality? We perceive the world around us and realise that we are something far bigger than we could possibly imagine.

For instance, we humans have 5 basic senses; Sight; Hearing; Taste; Smell and Touch. But then, we can go further as we have movement, speech, memory, Pain and Pleasure, but then we also have emotion; recall; instinct, awareness and subconscious. But there's still more to a human with, thought, comprehension, imagination, knowledge and wisdom, and just when you think you can stop, Cellular growth, regeneration, procreation, adaptation and evolution. There is more to what we are than meets the eye.

(This post shall be updated with more content in the near future. In the meantime, you may want to go to the start in order to understand what this post is about):

https://eternitydisplaced.blogspot.com/2018/06/forward.html